January 8th: Quad City Rollers Mixer Featuring Four Iowa Teams

The RiverCenter is located here...

MIR's Vyolent GriMm, Sin D. Rolla and Fanny Firestarter's Video Interview From DSM Business Journal

"We put our entire life lives into it, but we do it for free." -Fanny Firestarter, Mid Iowa Rollers.

And that is why Woman's Flat Track Roller Derby is the only sport that matters.

IRDD Covergirl Of The Month, January 2011: Lady Bowser of the Muddy River Nightmare

Real Name: Kaelee Bousman
Derby Name: Lady Bowzer
Team: The Muddy River Nightmares
Position: Jammer/Occasional Blocker
Age: 20
Current Town: Clinton, Iowa.
Hometown: Clinton Iowa.
College: Clinton Community College 2nd year (Elementary Education)
Family: Ed (Boyfriend), Margo (Mama), Troy (Dad), Sandy (My amazing Grandma), Matt and Josh (Older Brothers), Sierra (Baby sister), and Gir and Boo (My cats)
Employment: DM Services!


Were you athletic growing up? I’ve been involved in some sort of sport since I was 7 or 8 years old. I’ve played softball (7 to 18 years old), Basketball (middle school), Volleyball (Middle school), ran track (Middle school through senior year) and I ran cross country (All 4 years of High School). I also started bowling when I was 5 or 6 years old (if you would count that as a sport)

How did you get involved in Roller Derby? I heard about a team in Clinton when I was 17, obviously too young to play and still in high school, From the first time I heard about it I thought it would be so cool to play such a badass sport. The following June after I had turned 18 and began dating my boyfriend Ed, his sister Brandi was on the derby team after hearing stories and seeing the bruises, I had to try it out. She invited me to come to practice with her and from that day on I was hooked!

Describe the first time you practiced with a derby team? My first ever practice (actually hitting and what not) was so nerve racking I thought I was going to puke. I was so excited to learn more about this sport but nervous because I knew it was an aggressive/hard hitting sport and I did not want to get hurt. My first practice I was asked by the team captain at the time (Prrrfect Disaster) to try jamming, which I was totally against doing at the time. She finally talked me into trying and that’s been my main position from then on.

How has derby impacted your life? Derby has impacted my life in so many ways; it is a release for me, a way to express myself. Before I joined the derby team, I did not have many female friends, and it has been awesome to meet so many women from all different walks of life, and have something so amazing in common. I have gained a second family in the girls on my team, I’ve also gained great friends from other derby teams. Derby has also taught me that there are many different forms of beauty and that no matter what size or shape you are, you are beautiful and strong! Derby has made me into a stronger and better human being.

What is your favorite aspect of Derby? There are so many aspects of this sport that I absolutely love.
I love the fact that it is a team sport! I would not get anywhere in that pack if it was not for my blockers. I love the fact that I have 10+ women that I can look to for advice and support on and off the track. I love the fact that it is such a competitive sport, but after the bout is over the 2 teams are like sisters, we have a good time together. The screaming of the fans when something exciting happens, and having little girls come up to me and tell me they want to be a derby girl when they get older.

Least favorite? Injuries, I don’t want to get hurt, and don’t want to see any of my teammates hurt, but it is the risk we take to do what we love.

What are your goals for your team this season or next season? My goals for the team, is to just keep working hard and to keep improving. We have come so far in a short amount of time and it is so exciting to be a part of something so amazing. Since we are a relatively new team I can speak for everyone on the team when I say that we want to get our name out there more, and to have more and more people know who we are. There are great things in The Nightmares future and am so glad to be here for it. We’ve only just begun! Sleep with an eye open cause the Muddy River Nightmares are coming!

Mid Iowa Rollers Profiled In Business Record

Mid Iowa Rollers profiled in the latest Business Journal.

January 15th: Sioux City Roller Dames vs. Sioux Falls Killa Beez!

Long Lines Family Rec Center is located here...

Just Released MIR Recruitment Video

The Mid Iowa Rollers have released this informative recruitment video...

SCRD's Sum Mo Payne Writes of the New Men's Roller Derby Team, The Sioux City Korn Stalkers

Sioux City Roller Dames' Sum Mo Payne proves there’s a brain under all that helmet with her article on our brand-spankin-new merby team! She is the author of this piece.

Korn Stalkers founder, Rodney Residorph, known on his skates as “The Rodster”, has long been working on getting a men’s team started and in October of this year his dream came true. With great success the Korn Stalkers had their first practice Tuesday, December 6.

“It’s like American football with half the pads and on roller skates,” says The Rodster.

Roller derby is a contact sport played on quad roller skates on any flat smooth surface. A roller derby game is called a bout, and a bout lasts a total of one hour, broken up into a series of two-minute periods called jams. There are five players from each team on the track at one time. Each team has one jammer, who wears a star on their helmet, and four blockers. The jammer has the power to score points by legally passing opposing players. He/she is also able to call off the jam before the two-minute period expires. A jammer does this by repeatedly putting his hands on his hips.

“Mens roller derby consist of hard hits and fast packs,” says Korn Stalker ref Libby “PBR” Claeys, who is also an active player with the Roller Dames.

The Rodster and Joey Profera (AKA Skitch) came into the world of roller derby as refs for the Sioux City Roller Dames. This insight into the rules as a ref gives them a leg up on the track when playing men’s roller derby.

“We are just as awesome as women’s roller derby, but twice as hairy,” says Skitch.

There are many different reasons that people play roller derby: to stay physically fit, for competitiveness, and to just plain have fun and skate.

“We are going to put a whole new spin on derby and show everyone how fun this sport is,” says Skitch.

The Korn Stalkers are looking for men of all shapes and sizes. Roller derby is not just about bashing into other people on your skates, it is about fun, traveling and most importantly brotherhood. The Korn Stalkers are recruiting players, refs, non-skating officials, and volunteers. If you are interested, contact them at kornstalkers@hotmail.com

Recapping The Dakota City Mixer

Article from The Messenger here.

Videos Courtesy of MIR Camera Crew"

Part One:


Part Two:


Part Three:


Part Four:

When People Try To "Liven Up" Roller Derby

This is what happens.

Roller Derby Game Coming To WiiWare: Looks Like It Sucks.

I haven't seen the game yet, but I've read this article. I'm wondering why suits in the entertainment business always feel the need to "make" roller derby more exciting. Isn't it exciting enough as it is? Why then does Nintendo Wii thinks it needs to make our beloved sport look like Mario Kart with its Oh "secret shortcuts and power-ups all included to liven things up."?

Oh and it's WFTDA approved.

Maybe I am making a mountain out of a molehill, but would Major League Baseball allow the video game of their sport be "livened up" with trapped doors in the outfield or fastballs that explode when the video game batter connects?

I think we should pause and ask ourselves this: if WFTDA is willing to compromise the integrity of the sport to get a video game on the market, what are they willing to compromise to get TV coverage on ESPN or Fox Sports?

I realize that many will think this is great because it gets recognition for the sport, but if this is the end result, as a fan, I'll pass.

December 18th: Sioux City Roller Dames In Mixer In Norfolk, NE

The Sioux City Roller Dames will be among five teams participating in the "Season's Beatings" mixer hosted by the Norfolk Bruzin Betty's at 6:30 p.m. December 18th at Divots, 4200 W Norfolk Ave in Norfolk, NE.

Other teams featured at the event will be the Sioux Falls Roller Dollz, The Aces N Sk8s from Lead, SD and The Rushmore Rollers from Rapid City SD.

Halftime will feature a Co-Ed Scrimmage featuring the new men's derby team, the Sioux City Kornstalkers.

Tickets are $6 but you can save a dollar by bringing a can of dry goods for the food drive and save $1 on admission. Santa Claus will also be there for the kids. Doors open at 5:30

Divots is located here:

December 11: Mixer In Rock Island Featuring Cedar Rapids Rollergirls and the Old Capitol City Roller Girls

QCCA Center Is Located Here...


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Saturday Night: MIR, Cedar Valley and Dakota City In Benefit Scrimmage

A glimpse of the established and the up-and-coming await those attending a scrimmage featuring the Mid Iowa Rollers, undefeated in 2010, the Cedar Valley Derby Divas (Waterloo-Cedar Falls), who's season begins in February, and the Dakota City Demolition Crew (Humboldt-Dakota City) in Dakota City, Saturday night.

The event begins at 3 p.m. Saturday at the Roller Country Skating Rink, 403 Main Street, in Dakota City. Admission is $5 and goes towards the families of two convenience store workers who were shot.

While a couple of Cedar Valley Derby Divas (Wackadoo and Desmo DestroyHer) bouted with the Muddy River Nightmare against the Cedar Rapids Rollergirls: Bombshell Cartel) it is unknown to this blog whether Humboldt has officially sent a girl out to bout. This scrimmage will also be the first public bouting for the Mid Iowa Rollers since July.

Roller Country Skating Rink is located here...

New Marshalltown Derby Team Holding Skating Event in Newton

The new Marshalltown Roller Derby team is hosting a skating session from 12 p.m. to 4 p.m. on Saturday, December 4 at Skate Castle, 1611 1st Ave. W in Newton.

More Information can be found.

Skate Castle is located here.

Quad City Rollers Festival of Treets Profile on KLJB-TV

Story is here

December 18th: EIO Holiday Mixer Featuring 12 Midwest Teams, Multiple Iowa Teams

OCCRG Releases 2011 Bout Schedule

The Old Capitol City Roller Girls released their 2011 schedule on their website. Of particular note is The Big Bout on August 11 vs. fellow WFTDA apprentices The Mid Iowa Rollers in Des Moines, which, in this bloggers opinion, is the most anticipated bout of the 2011 season.

Bout Openings for EIO

From Eastern Iowa Outlaws Facebook Page

 "Outlaws have openings for the following bouts: October 29, 2011 and November 19, 2011. If interested shoot an email to: deadleedanni@yahoo.com . These are in Dubuque,Iowa. Spanks!"

New Eastern Iowa Outlaws Website Launched

Looks pretty savvy.

Eastern Iowa Outlaws Profiled On KWWL

Interviews with Dead Lee Danni and Sgt. StrikeHer on a KWWL news segment.

11/20 FINALS FROM DUBUQUE

First Bout (20 Minute Periods): Eastern Iowa Outlaws: Misdemeanors 85, Quad City Rollers: Rock Island Line 66

Second Bout: Quad City Rollers (30 Minute Periods): River Bend Bombers 142, Eastern Iowa Outlaws: Felons 66

Team Number 12? Rumblings About A Marshalltown Team

We might have team number 12 here in Iowa if this Facebook Page is correct. Practice for them is slated to begin in January 2011.

SCENE REPORT: Roller Dames vs. Derby Dames: The Shequel by Skinnerella

IRDD's Woman in Sioux City, Skinnerella, files this scene report on the Des Moines Derby Dames vs. Sioux City Roller Dames, Saturday night. She is the author of this piece.

Saturday night, Long Lines Family Recreation Center, two teams entered, one team left…then the other team left, too;  I mean, we’ve all got families and carpools and stuff. But, on the track, we were totally ruthless. Well, within reason.

After coming back for a narrow victory in our October bout against D3 in Des Moines, the Roller Dames were pumped for another highly competitive bout. D3 jumped out to an early lead, with Stella Italiana scoring 7 unanswered points in the first jam and Cosmo Disco scoring 13 in the second. Then someone told PBR we were behind, so she put up 10 unanswered points while Stella Italiana was in the penalty box, bringing the score to and even 29-29.

Roller Dames kept a narrow lead for the next few jams, then Dubbs, in against Stella, got lead jammer and was all set to widen the lead when she got sent to the penalty box (oh noooooo!). Stella scored 20 points in the jam, bringing the score to 50-34. Both teams defenses kept the scores low for the rest of the half, but D3 maintained a 20ish-point lead until the buzzer sounded.

Soooo, after the tournament, we had decided that we were no longer a second-half team. Really. But, honestly, would Rocky IV have been a good movie if Sly Stallone had knocked Drago out in the third round? Of course not!

WeLiveInSodHouses played a short set during halftime and they were so good, I went out the next day and bought a tamborine and a tub of mustache wax!

Funsize started the second half in the box, luckily, Dames’ Great Wall of Heiney kept Stella scoreless. The Roller Dames crept back and were soon within 7 points of the lead, then this happened: D3 jammers were in the box for 5 out of 6 consecutive jams. On one occasion, Stella was sent to the box, saving Mo Payne from serving out a 2-minute stint. This was a game-changer, which allowed the Dames to rack up 3 grand slams and, over the course of these 6 jams, outscore D3 34-6. In the next to last jam, Mo Payne put up 3 grand slams of her own, driving the last nails into D3′s coffin.  The final score was 126-149, Roller Dames.

Big thanks to the Derby Dames, their refs, crew and fans for coming out to play with us, and also for reminding us that if you can’t say something nice, you should probably just give them the finger. (-;

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: Sioux City Defeats D3

The Sioux City Roller Dames have swept the fall installment of the Battle of the Dames by knocking off the Des Moines Derby Dames 149-126 in Sioux City.

The win places Sioux City at 4-1 (plus their undefeated championship run in the Rollin Along The River 3 Tournament) on their season thus far, while D3 falls to 1-2 on their short fall schedule.

CORRECTION

I posted that Quad City would be a part of a double header in Cedar Rapids on November 20. This is absolutely impossible because they will be in Dubuque playing Eastern Iowa that same night.

I apologize for the error. I've updated everything with changes. Can someone from CRRG send me a jpeg of the new bout poster?

November 20: Cedar Rapids Rollergirls Season Ending Double Header

U.S. Cellular Center is located here....

November 13: Battle of the Dames II- D3 Ventures To Sioux City For Second Installment

The second Battle of the Dames looks to be one of the bigger matches of the fall as the Des Moines Derby Dames (1-1) face the Sioux City Roller Dames, who are carrying over their winning ways from the end of their last season, hanging up a 3-1 record and winning the Rollin' Along The River Tournament without a single loss. D3's sole loss on the season was against Sioux City by a mere 8 points last month in Des Moines.

Long Lines Family Rec Center is located here...

D3's Toxic Moss, MOAB, and Neurosis Cut Their Hair for "Locks of Love"

The Eleventh Team? Word About Dakota City Demolion Crew Begins Circulting

Reports are beginning to emerge about a new Roller Derby team beginning to spread.

First there is this page on Facebook for a team called the Dakota City Demolition Crew in the Humboldt, Iowa area.

Second, there was this post by Left 4 Deadwards on her recent blog post which mentioned the same team. Apparently, Left 4 Deadwards and Animal Mother of OCCRG went up to practice with them.

(Photo Courtesy of Left 4 Deadwards Blog)

FINAL FROM CORALVILLE: NINE LIVES FOR OCCRG

FINAL FROM CORALVILLE: OCCRG gets single season record for most wins by Iowa Derby team at nine with 225-104 win over Quad City.

HALFTIME IN CORALVILLE: OCCRG On All Gears Over Quad City

HALFTIME: Old Capitol City 105, Quad City 51

Saturday Night: Halloween Party With the Sioux City Roller Dames

Saturday Night: Old Capitol City Attempt To Gain Single Season Win Record Against Quad CIty Rollers River Bend Bombers

In July, after the Mid Iowa Roller wrapped up their perfect season at 8-0, I called them the best roller derby team that Iowa has produced so far in this new derby era. I stand by that statement. An undefeated record is an undefeated record.

But a scenario could be played out on Saturday that may cause debate within the Iowa Roller Derby community. While MIR is perfect on the season with eight wins, the Old Capitol City Roller Girls will attempt to seize the record for most wins in a single season (nine) should they defeat the Quad City Rollers: River Bend Bombers on Saturday night at the Monsters Brawl in Coralville on Saturday.

Regardless of the results of the bout, one thing everyone can agree on, whether you are a die hard MIR or a card carrying member of the Old Capitol City faithful, is that the MIR-OCCRG bout in 2011 will be a major clash of the titans.

The Coralville Marriott is located here...

Scene Report: Go Go Berserk Of The Quad City Rollers Files This Report Saturday's Double Header In Davenport

 NOTE: Go Go Berserk plays with the Quad City Rollers: River Bend Bombers  and is the Alternative Captain of the Quad City Rollers: Rock Island Line. She is the author of this piece.

Going into our second double header of the season, we had a renewed sense of excitement in our league due to recent and long awaited expansion changes. Saturday we re-introduced ourselves to the area & our fans with our newly formed teams. Our A squad now goes by “River Bend Bombers” and our B squad is now the “Rock Island Line”. We felt a strong desire to keep our teams themed around the Quad City area which we all call home. A little back story on Rock Island Line is that the league President, Sugar & Slice, has had about a two year dream of giving a team this name since she first came forth with the idea. It’s such an awesome feeling to reach this point. QCR didn’t have enough girls to fill a roster when I began skating with them nearly two years ago.

I know that some folks couldn’t help but to notice that some long time “Rollers” skated in both bouts that night including yours truly. This is due in part to how our league has proceeded with its new organization. A squad, River Bend Bombers, have a set 10 skaters. Rock Island Line contains everyone else that has tested out on minimum skills however this B squad includes 10 possible spots for what we refer to as “floaters”. Floaters are technically B squad that can & will be called upon to play on the A squad as needed. Check out our website for the roster outline . (We do have quite a few more girls than shown that just need to be tested out & placed so if someone you know seems to be missing, fear not!) This does present some of us with the opportunity to skate twice in one night. Double your pleasure, I say!

B Squad bout: Quad City Rollers-Rock Island Line (54) vs. Eastern Iowa Outlaws-Misdemeanors (81)

Mind you, the Misdemeanors may have taken our track Saturday as a team full of new skaters, we held no illusions that this would mean they would be in any sense an easy opponent to beat. We know full well who their amazing training staff consists of! Their strong blocking and solid walls were to be our ultimate demise. I gotta hand it to my girls though for keeping their attitudes positive, their penalties to a minimum and never giving up. It’s with that spirit that I know we’ve got lots to look forward to.

Our Rock Island Line introduced some newbies as well that night and (as their newly named alternate captain along-side captain, Diamond Dust) I’m so proud of their first time out. I think we all came away with that sense of pride at the things we know we did well but also know better what we need to work on. We don’t really like to think of a low scoring bout at a 27 point deficit to be anything to hang our heads about in a sport such as ours. Everyone is excited & looking forward to rematch with them on November 20th on the Outlaw’s floor.

A Squad bout: Quad City Roller-River Bend Bombers (87) vs. Des Moines Derby Dames (141)

Des Moines Derby Dames were coming to play and suffice it to say their legend preceded them. We were warned, we saw the videos but until you really try to capture & stop one Stella Italliana, you just don’t really know what you are in for. And to whomever files that girl’s sharp shoulder blades…please stop! ;0)

The first half couldn’t have been more exciting. We back & forthed it a few times on the score but always seemed to be no more than 5 points (if memory serves me) difference. We employed a few strategies that seemed to work well in the first half. Pink Taco & Lady Gotcha were keeping the points coming quite well with the aide of our blocking strategies.

But then there was the second half which going in still seemed could be anybodies game. Once again we find ourselves receiving far more penalties than we care to have racked up and when we short ourselves bodies on the track it is just a lot to expect to keep the initial momentum going the same.

Before the bout was complete we watched two team mates skate away for reaching their 7th trip to the box. D3 put up a few large jams that half as well so then the obvious result would unfold.

We had a great time with both teams that night and always do our best to come away having learned more about ourselves. Thanks again to the Eastern Iowa Outlaws-Misdemeanors and to the Des Moines Derby Dames for a great night and a great challenge.

Coming up…

The Quad City Rollers-River Bend Bombers are thrilled to be headed to Iowa City on Saturday October 30th for a second Monster’s Brawl with our great friends and fierce opponents the Old Capital City Roller Girls. Cannot wait to bash it up with them again!

Des Moines Derby Dames: It Gets Better Video

The Des Moines Derby Dames have produced what is no doubt the most important video that any Iowa Roller Derby Team has put out so far.

By joining the "It Gets Better" movement that has gained momentum in the wake of the recent suicides of gay teenagers, most notably Rutgers University student Tyler Clement, D3 may have saved someones life.

If you are reading this and you are in a situation where people are bullying you because of your sexual orientation, or the fact that people just see you as different, and you are contemplating suicide, take a step back, sit down and watch this video. Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline immediately if you feel like hurting yourself. If you are a teenager and are Gay or questioning and you are also losing the will to live and are thinking about harming yourself, you can also contact The Trevor Project.

As D3 said, it gets better. You can make it through this time and then you don't have to deal with the people who torment you anymore if you don't want to. In the meantime, the resources are out there to help you. The love of many people, like D3 and myself, goes out to you. Every person in the world has an inherent dignity and value. You are no different. You have something to offer in this rich tapestry of life.

Hang on. It gets better.

Scene Report: Rolling Along the River Three: The Three Is Short for Threeeelling! by Skinnerella (SCRD)

IRDD's Woman In Sioux City, Skinnerella of the Sioux City Roller Dames, filed this scene report from what looked like an incredible tournament. Skinnerella is the author of this piece.

Yesterday’s Rolling Along the River tourney was a day of learning and playing, of light snacks and heavy hits. After 16 hours of derby, merby and ferby (that’s f-ing-awesome derby) I’ve learned three things about myself: 1. If I’m hungry enough, I’ll steal McNuggets 2. I’m not above crying when a hoss of a man skates over my hands 3. I’m incapable of looking cool while wearing a mouthgaurd, but then, so is everyone else. If you weren’t there, you should probably start weeping silently right now, because there’s no way that I could recreate the eyeball-melting, tongue-exploding, nosehair-curling derby action with this simple media. I can, however, tell you all that I remember, which isn’t much; I think I had my bandana cinched too tightly.

            The first round of Women’s derby went a little something like this:

            Rushmore had a bye, as the team they were scheduled to play was not able to make it to the tournament. Fargo-Moorhead played the first bout of the morning against fledgling team, Norfolk Bruizin’ Bettys. In an important learning experience, Fargo beat the feathers off Norfolk 156-15. Next up for the ladies was Mississippi Valley Mayhem taking on my favorite team, the Sioux City Roller Dames. T-Vicious, who was also Dames’ MVP for the day, showed us all that she has lost her milk teeth when she KABLAMMMED Mississippi Valley’s jammer with a perfect and clean hit, preventing a grand slam. Dames came out on top with a score of 118-48. Next up was Babe City Rollers vs. Harbor City Roller Dames. I have to be honest. I was off having a snack during this bout and missed almost all of it, but I can tell you that various events transpired, actions were taken and responses were made and at the buzzer, the score was 79-40, Babe City. Thus ended round 1 of the double elimination women’s tournament.

            Meanwhile, there were all these dudes in tight pants hanging around and someone told me they were there to play roller derby. The men played a round-robin style tournament, each team playing all of the others. Let me first point out a few nuanced differences between merby and women’s derby. Testicles are a factor, particularly when falling, but also when choosing one’s derby name. Some of my favorites include: Egor Toboneya, Craven Moorehead, One Nate Stand and Johnny Pocket Rocket. Also, men’s derby usually keeps a faster pace with more jumping and less booty blocking (for obvious reasons).

            First up, Race City Rebels took on Rock City Riot. Quadzilla, of Rock City, besides making all the 8-wheeled ladies swoon, made some baffling moves on the track, spinning and jumping like Michelle Kwan and hitting like [insert good offensive lineman here]. Rock City edged out Race City 77-67. Next, Twin City Terrors took on short-stacked Milwaukee Blitzdkrieg. Though they usually save their whoring for off the track, a few of Sioux City’s own man-refs whored on with Milwaukee. Terrors were impervious to the blitz and won handily 117-29.

            Back in the women’s world of cooking, cleaning and beating the tar out of each other, Fargo took on Rushmore in round 2 of the winner’s bracket, winning 101-6. Sioux City faced Babe City in round 2 and came away with our second win of the day, outscoring Babe City 107-77. Sioux City and Fargo advanced to the semifinals, earning ourselves a nice, long nap break.

            The one-loss bracket moved into round 2 with Harbor City taking on Rushmore in a real butt-clencher of a bout. Harbor city took a slim lead in the last two minutes, then with Harbor City’s jammer in the box, Rushmore came back to win it in the final jam. Babe City defeated Mississippi Valley 71-19 and advanced to the next round to take on Rushmore.

            Round three of the winner’s bracket pitted Fargo against Sioux City in a bout so exciting that I think I peed in my boutfit just a little. SC and Fargo swapped the lead throughout the 30-minutes of play. Fargo Jammer, Shock Therapy was only exacerbating our melancholia, while SC blocker/jammer, Dubbs was handing out canopeners like Halloween candy. With only seconds left on the clock, the last jam started with the score 40-36, Fargo. PBR took lead jammer, made one pass for a grand slam then called it off, bringing the score to 40-41, Sioux City.

            After their first 3 bouts, Babe City had lost several players to injury and work schedules, leaving them with only 5 players able to bout. They didn’t take on any outside players, so the men’s teams that were scheduled to play the next bout suited up, expecting Babe City to forfeit. But these babes didn’t quit. They played Rushmore with only one line, never leaving the track, swapping helmet panties on the fly. At first, everyone was cheering for their moxy and character, but then we were cheering because they were actually winning. I felt like I was watching an inspirational montage in a movie about an underdog roller derby team. Babe City took the bout 107-58.

            Back in the testosterone-fueled world of merby, Race City took on the TC Terrors. After their first narrow loss to Rock City, Race City made another impressive-but-not-winning showing against the Twin Cities team, losing 51-72. Next up, Rock City took on Milwaukee, beating them by more than 100 points with a final score of 125-21. In the match-up between Race City and Milwaukee, Race City came out ahead 155-23…okay, way ahead.

            The men’s championship pitted Rock City against the TC Terrors. I was torn apart, not knowing who to cheer. On the one hand, you’ve got Quadzilla doing headstands and whirling around skaters like stripper poles and on the other you have my new derby crush; I won’t say who it is, but I will tell you that he likes to tend rabbits and pet puppies, but sometimes he just pets too hard. These guys played an incredibly exciting bout, with TC coming out on top 115-42. But I say, when you have that many men rolling around in tight shorts, everybody wins.

            Babe city, after their heroic win in the third round of the one-loss bracket, was not up for the semifinal game against Fargo. They forfeited, advancing Fargo to the Final bout against Sioux City. The first Fargo-SC bout had been so close, that we all knew not to go counting our baby crocodiles before they hatched. It was nearing 11:00 when we took the track, so none of us were quite as fresh and spry as we had been 14 hours earlier. Our fatigue manifested itself in the form of penalties; it’s just SO hard not to cut the track and trip people when you’re sleepy. Both teams spent plenty of time in the box, but Fargo definitely out-naughtied SC, giving us the advantage. At the buzzer, the score was 72-45, Sioux City. This end was not nearly as climactic as our earlier bout against Fargo, but we were glad to have to opportunity to play this awesome team again.

            We’d like to thank everyone who came all the way out to little ol’ Sioux City and spent the weekend playing, watching, cheering and smelling us. We can’t wait to do it again next year!

Left 4 Deadwards' Recap of Saturday's OCCRG Bout Against CRRG

Here is the latest blog entry from Left 4 Deadwards, the great Jammer/Blocker for the 8-2 Old Capitol City Roller Girls. It is well worth your time to read. In fact, for me, this the best writing on derby from her that we have seen from her thus far. She is becoming an expert at making the sometimes confusing world of derby easy to understand. If the Derby News Network starts broadcasting games from Iowa, and there is no excuse for them not to, they would do well to tap Left 4 Deadwards.

Sioux CIty RATH 3 On KCAU News

Scene Report 10/23: OCRRG's Toxic Sugar on the Saturday Night Bout in Cedar Rapids

 OCCRG Blocker and IRDD Covergirl of the Month Toxic Sugar, still recuperating from knee surgery, submitted this report on the Old Capitol City Roller Girls' vulgar display of  power against the CRRG: Helldorados Saturday night. Toxic Sugar is the author of this piece. 

I think back to a year and a half ago, June 2009, when we first faced off with the women of CRRG, I remember being so nervous, so fresh, so new. It was our second bout ever and we didn't have much of a chance against the seasoned CRRG. We were still wet behind the ears at the game of derby, still trying to figure out the game.

Last night, we came with our game face on. Adrenaline pumped strong as we took the track. We came in strong and continued strong through the entire bout. We were ready to play hard and ready to prove ourselves in the corridor as a force to be reckoned with.

Old Capitol City Roller Girls took the track in Cedar Rapids against the Helldorados last night and came out with our eighth win of the 2010 season. (We stand at 8-2 with one bout to go in 2010.)

It was a night of high emotion, hard hits and amazing strategy from OCCRG. We have been working hard at playing smart, keeping our eyes open and staying focused, which showed in every aspect of the bout last night. We had solid walls, protected our line, and made sure we were quick to react when CRRG made their moves on the track.

Our ladies in the star panties all made jamming look easy as they weaved in, through and past the pack scoring point after point. Our defense was amazing. Accurate, well timed blocks held CRRG jammers back and assisted OCCRG jammers quickly through the pack. We knew where we needed to be and we executed.

The score at the half was 39 to 107 OCCRG. As we huddled in the locker room, we knew CRRG would bring it strong in the second half with a vengeance, and they proved us right. They came out hard hitting and ready, but OCCRG continued to dominate the track. Sticking faithfully to our strategy, playing smart and uniting as a team.

In the end, OCCRG took the win at 182 to 91.

A very proud victory for all of the Old Capitol City Roller Girls.

Special Announcement

In the interest of full disclosure and honesty, I would like to inform you, dear reader, that I am now working as an assistant coach for the Cedar Valley Push-Up Brawlers. I have only been there for a couple of weeks. I could not resist the opportunity to get more involved in the derby community that we all know and love.

I would like you all whom I talk to on here and on Facebook that I am doing this so you don't spill the beans about your strategy to me unaware of my position on Cedar Valley.

I would also like you all to know that this will not affect the blog format whatsoever. This blog is still devoted to all of the leagues in Iowa, all of whom I know and love dearly. Lest anyone fear it will become an all Cedar Valley blog.

That is all.

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: Sioux City Roller Dames Win RATR 3, Defeating Fargo-Moorhead.

The Sioux City Roller Dames Captured the Rollin' Along The River 3 Championship by knocking off the Fargo-Moorhead Derby Girls in 72-45 finish.

The two squads had met earlier in the day with PBR's clutch last jam grand slam hoisting the Roller Dames to a 41-40 win.

T-Vicious was named Roller Dames MVP.

Hopefully, there will be a scene report from Skinnerella on her impressions of the day.

Speaking of Skinerella, IRDD's Woman in Sioux City, a thousand thank you's to her for keeping me up to date on the going's on at the tournament.

Congradulations to the Roller Dames.

Hail, Iowa Roller Derby.

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: Twin Cities Clinch RATR 3 Men's Division Championship

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: The Twin Cities Terrors defeated the Rock City Riot, 115-42 to win the Rollin' Along the River 3 Men's Championship.

On Deck is the Women's Championship: The Sioux City Roller Dames vs. The Fargo-Moorhead Derby Girls.

FINAL FROM CEDAR RAPIDS: La Crosse Annihilates CRRG:Bombshell Cartel

FINAL FROM CEDAR RAPIDS: La Crosse Skating Sirens 230, Cedar Rapids Rollergirls: Bombshell Cartel 51

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: RATR 3 Babe City Defeats Rushmore With Only 5 Players

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY RATR 3: The Babe City Rollers have accomplished the very difficult task of defeating the Rushmore Rollerz with only five players by the final score of 107-58.

IRDD's Woman in Sioux City, Skinnerella reports that Babe City forfeited Losers Bracket Championship Bout against Fargo-Moorhead.

Thus it will be the Sioux City Roller Dames against the Fargo-Moorhead Derby Girls for all the marbles. If the first bout is any indication, this one is going down to the wire.

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: RATR 3 Men's Division Race City Rebels Over Milwaukee Blitzkreig

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: RATR 3 Men's Division Race City Rebels 155, Milwaukee Blitzkrieg 23

RATR 3 Men's Championship will be the Twin Cities Terrors vs. Rock City Riot

HALFTIME IN CEDAR RAPIDS: La Crosse Skating Sirens Dominating CRRG:Bombshell Cartel

There appears to be unpleasant times at the US Cellular Center tonight as the La Crosse Skating Sirens are leading the Cedar Rapids Rollergirls: Bombshell Cartel 146-12.

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: RATR 3 PBR's Last Jam Grand Slam Catapults SCRD Over Fargo-Moorhead Into Championship Bout

Sioux City Jammer PBR elevated the Sioux City Roller Dames to the Championship bout of the Rollin' Along the River Tournament with a last jam grand slam to topple the Fargo-Moorhead Derby Girls 41-40

FINAL FROM DAVENPORT: Des Moines Derby Dames Triumph over Quad City Rollers

The Des Moines Derby Dames defeated the Quad City Rollers 141-87 in the second of a doubleheader at the RiverCenter in Davenport, Saturday night.

From the official Des Moines Derby Dames Website:

The Des Moines Derby Dames have defeated the Quad City Rollers 141 to 87 on a night where it was a carousel of jammers on the line for the Mean Green. Stella Italiana, Elbow MacFearson and Cosmo Disco scored big while freshmen jammers Autopsy Turvey, Smallsbury Steak and Z'Ro Tolerance were also given their shots on the line.

FINAL FROM CEDAR RAPIDS: Old Capitol City Pummels CRRG:Helldorados

FINAL FROM CEDAR RAPIDS: The Old Capitol City Roller Girls demolished the Cedar Rapids Rollergirls: Helldorados 186-95, Saturday Night at the U.S. Cellular Center.

The victory puts Old Capitol City's 2010 record at 8-2 and ties the undefeated Mid Iowa Rollers for the single season win record in the history of the young Iowa Roller Derby Scene. They can take the record with a victory over the Quad City Rollers in Coralville next Saturday night.

FINAL FROM DAVENPORT: Eastern Iowa Outlaws: Misdemeanors Win Inaugural Bout Over QCR: B Team

FINAL FROM DAVENPORT: Eastern Iowa Outlaws: Misdemeanors defeat the Quad City Rollers B Team 81-54.

Thanks to Lemme Adam for the score.

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: RATR 3 Babe City Knocks Out Mississippi Valley

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: The Babe City Rollers advance to the Third Round of the Losers Bracket with a 71-19 win over the Mississippi Valley Mayhem.

Mississippi Valley is out of the tournament.

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: RATR 3 Men's Division Rock City Trounces Milwaukee

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: The Rock City Riot defeated the Milwaukee Blitzkrieg 125-21 in the RATR 3 Mens Division.

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: RATR 3 Rushmore Knocks Harbor City Out Of Tourney

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: Rushmore takes a step toward crawling out of the RATR 3 Losers Bracket by dispersing the Harbor City Roller Dames 69-62.

IRDD's Woman in Sioux City, Skinnerella, reports Harbor City took the lead with less than two minutes to go before Rushmore came back and clinched the bout on the last jam. 

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: RATR 3 Sioux City Roller Dames Advance To Winners Bracket Final

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: The Sioux City Roller Dames advance to the Winners Bracket Final at RATR 3 with 107-77 win over Babe City Rollers.

SCRD will face Fargo-Moorhead with the winner advancing to the Final.

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: RATR 3 Men's Divsion Twin Cities Terrors Defeat Race City Rebels

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: The Twin Cities Terrors defeat the Race City Rebels, 72-51 in the Men's Division of the RATR 3 tourney.

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: RATR 3 Fargo-Moorhead Destroys Rushmore To Advance To Winners Bracket Final

FINAL SCORE FROM SIOUX CITY: The Fargo-Moorhead Derby Girls secured their place in the Winners Bracket Final in their complete destruction of the Rushmore Rollerz 101-6 at the Rollin' Along the River Tournament 3.

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: RATR 3 Mississippi Valley Knock Out Norfolk

I confess I am a little confused by this result. It doesn't seem to make sense with the scheduled itinerary. Nevertheless the Mississippi Valley Mayhem have knocked out the Norfolk Bruzin' Betty's 147-33 at the Rollin' Along The River Tournament. 

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: RATR 3 Men's Division Twin Cities Beats Milwaukee

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: The Twin Cities Terrors defeat the Milwaukee Blitzkrieg, 117-29 in the Men's Division of RATR 3.

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: RATR 3 Babe City defeates Harbor City, Will Face Sioux City In Second Round

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: The Babe City Rollers (Bemidji, MN.) defeat the Harbor City Roller Dames, 79-40.

Babe City will be playing the Sioux City Roller Dames in the second round of the winners bracket in a bout slated for 1 p.m. but will more than likely be later.


Shout out to Skinnerella for the update.

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: RATR 3 Sioux City Roller Dames Defeat Miss. Valley Mayhem in 1st Round Game

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: The Sioux City Roller Dames have won their first round RATR 3 bout, defeating the Mississippi Valley Mayhem, 118-48.

The Roller Dames will go on to face the winner of the Babe City Rollers (Bemidji, MN.)- Harbor City Roller Dames (Duluth, MN.-Superior WI.) bout. This match is slated to start at 1 p.m. but they are running a bit behind schedule

Shout out to Skinnerella for the score. 

FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: RATR 3 Men's Division Rock City Riot over Race City Rebels

The Men's Division of the Rolling Along the River 3 Tournament in Sioux City is underway as the Rock City Riot defeated the Race City Rebels 77-67.

The Sioux City Roller Dames are on deck for their first round match against the Mississippi Valley Mayhem (La Crosse, Wi)

Shout Out to IRDD's Woman in Sioux City, Skinnerella, for updating the scores.

CORRECTED VERSION: FINAL FROM SIOUX CITY: Rolling Along The River 1st Round: Fargo-Moorhead Defeats Norfolk

Author's note: Earlier version of the blog had the results backwards. This is the correct version. I apologize for any inconvenience. Thanks to Facebook User Megan Johnson for alerting me about this mistake.

First round of Rolling Along the River 3 Tournament is under way now in Sioux City. In the first bout, The Fargo-Moorhead Derby Girls defeat the Norfolk Bruzin Betty's 156-15. Fargo-Moorhead goes on to play the Rushmore Rollerz in the 12:15 Second Round Winners Bracket Match. Norfolk receives a bye to the Second round of the Losers Bracket and will face the winner of the Rushmore-Fargo-Moorhead bout in the 3:15 match.

Shout Out to IRDD's Woman in Sioux City, Skinnerella, for updating the scores.

Cedar Valley Derby Divas: Push-Up Brawlers Release Home Bout Schedule For 2011 Season

All Home Bouts will be played at McElroy Auditorium at the National Cattle Congress in Waterloo, Iowa.

4-30-11 vs. Cedar Rapids Rollergirls: Bombshell Cartel
5-21-11 vs. Old Capitol City Roller Girls
6-11-11 vs. Eastern Iowa Outlaws: Felons
7-?-11 To Be Announced
8-13-11 vs. Muddy River Nightmares
10-15-11 vs. Des Moines Derby Dames
11-12-11 vs. Farm Fresh Roller Girls (Mt. Pleasant, Illinois)

Three Iowa Teams Added To WFTDA Apprentiship Program.

This is old news from one of my hiatuses from the blog, but it bears repeating. The Womens Flat Track Derby Association has granted ten teams worldwide access into the WFTDA Apprentiship Program. Three of those ten teams are from Iowa. Granted admission into this program were the Mid Iowa Rollers, The Des Moines Derby Dames and the Old Capitol City Rollers.

For more information read here.

Leagues here in the Hawkeye State are beginning to move up in the world of derby. And you will know them by the trail of opposition blockers and jammers on the floor in their wake.

Sioux City Roller Dames Rolling Along The River 3 Tournament Saturday.

If you are anywhere near Sioux City this weekend, or you love derby so much that you are willing to drive it, this tournament needs to be your destination on Saturday. Both Women's teams and Men's teams will be skating. The Muddy River Nightmare will not be playing.

The Bracket

The Location

October 23: Cedar Valley Derby Divas To Skate In Wartburg Homecoming Parade in Waverly

The Cedar Valley Derby Divas will be handing out the bout schedule for their upcoming inaugural season in 2011 and skate in the Wartburg College Homecoming Parade at 10 a.m. on Saturday In Waverly.

The team will be skating down 5th St. NW from 5th Ave. NW then west on Bremer Avenue to 12th St. NW, then north back to 5th Ave. NW.

For more information, consult MapQuest.com

Old Capitol City Roller Girls On PATV's Talking With Yale Cohn

This has to be, without a doubt, the best media coverage that I have seen thus far of the Derby scene in Iowa thus far. The name of the show is Talking with Yale Cohn, which runs on PATV out of Iowa City. and, at just over a half-hour, the four derby girls from the Old Capitol City Roller Girls have plenty of time to talk about derby, the derby life, and the significance of the recent accomplishments of three Iowa roller derby teams being invited by WFTDA to be apprentice leagues. It helps that Cohn is a bona fide derby fan.

To all Iowa Derby fans, sit back and enjoy this. It is well worth your time.

Also notice that one of the participants in the roundtable is IRDD's own October/November Covergirl Toxic Sugar.

October 29: Mid Iowa Rollers Recruitment/Costume Party At All Play In Des Moines

Introducing The Des Moines Derby Dames: Crash Test Dolls

October 25: Des Moines Derby Dames Free Informational Meeting at 7 Flags Center in Clive

A free special informational meeting for the Des Moines Derby Dames will take place at 7 p.m. on Monday October 25, at the 7 Flags Events Center in Clive. The team is inviting anyone out who may be interested in playing Derby out. If you decide it is for you, the teams website said you can begin practicing in November with them with no practice fee.

7 Flags Events Center is located here...

Des Moines Derby Dames vs. Sioux City Roller Dames Highlights.

Coming In February: The Cedar Valley Derby Divas.

Sioux City Roller Dames vs. Des Moines Derby Dames: How to Catch a Saucy Noodle and Craft a Confusing Metaphor By Skinnerella

Our woman in Sioux City, Skinnerella, gives us the scoop on the Des Moines Derby Dames vs. Sioux City Roller Dames on Saturday as only she can. She is the author of this piece.

When you talk about roller derby secret weapons, you usually think of things like a big ol’ hoss who is blindingly fast or a puny little thing that can block like nobody’s business. You never expect the cupcake, though. M.O.A.B., Des Moines Derby Dames blocker and head cupcakist, left these stealthily placed butter cream bombs right in our locker room, where we had no choice but to eat six or seven of them apiece, right before the bout.

Despite bellies laden with cupcakes, the Roller Dames persevered, jumping out to a 9-0 lead, after the first two jams. Dames and Dames swapped the lead several times during the first half, with D3 racking up lots of quick scores and Sioux City playing our feast-or-famine style of derby, putting up 0 points in one jam then 18 in the next.

D3 made up some major ground when they put Stella Italiana in to jam 4 in a row, bringing the score to 43-44. If you’ve never seen Stella jam, let me try to describe it for you with a little help from my good friend, Chef Boyardee. With her slight build, Stella looks like the spaghetti noodle that snuck into the beef ravioli can. She is as slippery as a spaghetti-o and harder to catch than the last meatball floating around in the sauce. Oh, and did I tell you she leaps? There’s no fitting canned pasta metaphor here, homegirl’s just got mad hops.

With D3 only one point shy of a tie, PBR lined up to jam, ringing up 23 (What!?) points and giving Sioux City a 20 point lead. Sioux City proceeded to only score one more point over the next 5 jams, allowing D3 to claw their way back (not literally, they were all really lovely girls). We retired to the locker room with the score 65-68, Roller Dames.

During halftime, D3 introduced us all to their new D3 league team, the Crash Test Dolls. We were so happy for our fellow dames and their new expansion team, that we decided we should eat some more cupcakes to celebrate.

Fueled by chocolate and oh-so-creamy frosting, we again took the floor. In the first jam of the second half, D3 pitted Elbow Macfearson (winner of my favorite name honor, after someone explained it to me) against Funsize. Elbow eked out a 3 point lead before calling the jam. Next up for Sioux City was PBR who again put up a big number (14) and pulled our team back into the lead. After a couple of solid jams by Cosmo Disco, D3 had again tied the score, paving the way for Stella Italiana to snatch the lead back for Des Moines. Well then, of course Sum Mo Payne said, “Gaw-lee, y’all! It’s not that hard! Just score more points than them!” So she did; putting up 12 and outscoring D3 by 7.

Dames’ jammers, Mo, Dubbs, PBR and Funsize hung on to that lead like it was the last parachute on a plummeting airplane. Meanwhile Sioux City’s blockers had finally figured out how to manage Stella Italiana. Through the first half, we just couldn’t manage to get ahold of her. Our 2 and 2 blocking and even 3-walls still left her plenty of space to get by. So we built a 4-wall; eight of our big ol’ butt cheeks lined up like pretty maids all in a row, proved impenetrable, well, relatively so. Felony Convixxen, The Annihilatrix and Dubbs realized that it was not impossible to knock Stella off of her skates, exceedingly difficult, yes, but not impossible.

Stella Italiana put up 79 of D3’s 145 total points, but the bout was by no means “The Stella Show”. D3 jammers, Minnie Sotuff and Cosmo Disco had impressive performances, while Elbow Macfearson, Toxic Moss and Ella Diablo, just to name a few, made our jammers’ job about as frustrating as potty training a ferret; I mean, it’s possible, but it sure isn’t easy.

PBR scored 75 of Sioux City’s 153 points, including 14, 15 and 23-point jams. T-vicious pulled off some wicked hits and wound up with her very first case of nasty rink rash. Can you get some kind of weird skin infection from 7-Up residue in an open wound?

The start whistle for the last jam sounded with 45 seconds left on the clock. Stella was heads up against PBR, with 12 points needed for D3 to tie. Stella put up a quick 5, and then called the jam with 3 seconds left on the clock. It would have been a great strategy, had someone called a timeout, but if anyone did, the refs didn’t see it. The last seconds ticked off the clock, the final buzzer sounded and, after several excruciating seconds, the final score of 145-153 lit up the scoreboard. It was sweaty hugs and boobilicious chest bumps all around for the Roller Dames. This was, by far the closest and most exciting bout of our season and we can’t wait to see the Derby Dames here on our home turf on November 13. And, um, if anyone wants to bring any cupcakes or anything, you know (wink, wink, M.O.A.B.), that’d be cool too.