Photos of Des Moines Derby Dames Vs. Old Capital City Roller Girls Rematch

Excellent shots courtesy of Christopher Maharry. It just so happens that Christopher Maharry owns Maharry Photography in Des Moines. Maharry does such a amazing job on derby photos that I believe he can do the same thing for you, whether family pictures or high school senior photos or commercial related projects.

Some would say I am foolish for giving business shout outs without asking for ad money, but those that feel that way can get their own roller derby blog. Maharry was gracious enough to send me some of his shots.

And when you are good to IRDD, IRDD is good to you.

 D3 Jammer Ella Diablo basks in the pre-jam spotlight.

D3 Jammer Cosmo Disco attempts to negotiate through the pack

Left to right: Cosmo Disco (D3), Toxic Sugar (Old Capital City), Minnie Mayhem (D3), Furyis Jorge (Old Capital City) and Animal Mother (Old Capital City)

 

D3's Stella Italiana

Back To the Derby Conclusion.

I would be remiss if I did not talk about the blockers- those at the center of the action.

As I sit here at type this, upon reflecting on what I saw Saturday, it seems these women have the most complex job on the team. Certainly it can be the most frustrating and excruciating. If you are a blocker you are on skates, and while you may be experienced at skating, part of the back of your mind is working to make sure you keep balance and pace with the pivots. Not only that you have to worry about your counterparts on the other side. You have to be mindful of where they are and be prepared to act on them in split second. You have to have your body in a state of expectancy that you will be blindsided or unexpectedly shoved by the oppositions blockers.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly you have to keep in mind where your jammers are in relation to where you in the pack are. So when Minnie Mayhem, Cosmo Disco or Stella Italiana from the Dames and Sammi Tsunami and Hether Skelter from the Rollergirls come barreling toward you with the determined fury of a muscle car on the Autobahn you have to develop a split second strategies to deal with all of this madness.

But let us not sympathize too much with the blockers. They are also in the best position to knock someone on their ass. I remember a feature on Sports Center about the rise of roller derby (which I will post on here later) which included an interview with a girl with the moniker Honey Homicide. Honey said these famous words without a hint of cheekiness: "I hear people say 'well I don't want to hit somebody else.' Why not? You're totally missing out."

A final note on all of this. All the roles, pivots, jammers and blockers, are interchangeable. There was a sequence where Road Block, from the Rollergirls served as a jammer and Stella Italiana of the dames also served in role of blocker.

Regulars in the blocker pack for the Dames included Toxic Moss, M.O.A.B and Meggar Bomb and many others I am fogetting

Truly it was one of the best Saturday nights. This incarnation of Roller Derby was everything that I hoped for as a long time fan. From the first jam to the last, it had all of the warmness of catching up with an old friend. Yet during the match my mind could not escape the thought of the specialness of it all.

To me, the Des Moines Derby Dames, and the Wisconsin River Valley Rollergirls were a confirmation of everything that is noble, decent and honest in sports. You see, the weekend that Noel and I saw this match was day three of the Masters Golf Tournament. We all know about Tiger Woods' infidelities and while I try not to get caught up in expecting piousness from our athletes, I could not help but feel let down as a lifelong Tiger fan. It wasn't the same. It was also the first full weekend of Major League Baseball- a sport that has been tarnished by steroid allegations and multi-million dollar mercenaries that seem distant and aloof from its fans, even though I do still love it.

All of us who are fans of athletics are looking for something to love and believe in again. We desire the purity and competitiveness of the game that we see in our parks and rec softball diamonds and basketball courts. The Dames-Rollergirls bout provided that, but it gave us so much more.

Any who has played a game dreamed of becoming a legend. We dreamed of being heroes. We wanted to hit the game winning home run or sink the game winning basket. We wanted to be admired by friend and total stranger alike. We wanted to make the stadiums rock. We wanted to be heroes.

As I was watching these two teams skate.; observing the Dames joy at the close of their match, looking at the children of the Dames who were mothers smile and glow upon the conclusion of the match with the realization that their mom not only kicks ass figuratively, but literally; and listening to the applause and cheers and cheers of the audience during the match itself display pleasure at a successful or intense play got me thinking.

These women have not only resurrected a sport that I loved but thought was all but dead, they have turned themselves in the legends that most of us only dream about being. The names and persona may be exaggerated, but the event and the feeling were true. They dreamed. But more than that, they did something about it. And they did it with nothing more than a pure love for the game. No strings attached.

I sat there in the audience, which was cornucopia of average good midwesterners, handsome men and beautiful women out for a good time on a Saturday night, punks and regulars Children and families. I felt that we were witnessing more than a match. We were watching dreams in action. We were watching these regular women making themselves into legends. We were witness to pure sport and athleticism.

If you believe nothing else of what I have written you must do this: before the summer is ended you must go to a roller derby bout and see for yourself. There is nothing like a Roller Derby bout. Don't try to find a substitute either in one of those sports-entertainment derby leagues, either. Leave the buffoonery to the buffoons. Go to the real thing and go fast before it explodes.

And if you go, you will probably see me. I will be going back to Des Moines and am planning on making pit stops in Cedar Rapids, Iowa City and the Quad Cities. 

And if you went on Saturday to the bout at the Val-Air or if you saw a bout in Wausau, Wisconsin, tip your caps to these women and be proud. They walk in the rarified air that most of us only dream of. . They are not sport entertainers like the Derby players of old.

They are athletes of the first degree.

They are legends.

They are heroines.

Back to the Derby Part Two

Noel and I made I-35 from Highway 20 (which we hit coming out of Waterloo) in 50 minutes. Since this usually took me over an hour to make, and with about 1 hour and 20 minutes to cover about 60 miles, I began to get giddy. We were going to make the match on time.

The combination of that knowledge and the emergence of the evening sun out of the rainclouds that blanketed the north turned my attention to the bout itself.

What would it be like? A friend of mine who attended the Cedar Rapids Roller Girls bout told me that it was, in his words, kind of lame but added that a) he didn't have the greatest of seats and b) the beer was a bit pricey. I suppose the combination of those two things could make a lame night out of anything.

Still the question lingered, would it be lame?

In my previous post I mentioned that the incarnation of Roller Derby that the Dames play is different from previous editions. While the kitsch is in the names and the outfits, the actual competition is real. These women would be taking the floor without any idea of what was going to happen- for good or for ill. The ill showed up in the Dames' inaugural match as Dames founder, Show Stopper, was seriously injured in the bout against the Old Capital City Roller Girls of Iowa City. I cannot remember which foot was injured but it looked pretty serious.

Since the action was real, would it be timid, especially in light of such a serious injury?

Our high speed sprint down I-35 placed us in the parking lot of the Val-Air at 7:10 p.m. What Noel and I saw there surprised us. The parking lot was full. People were tailgating. Both of us agreed that this was cool. We also agreed we had to haul ass to get inside the building out of legitimate fear that it sold out. Fortunately, we got tickets.

Stepping inside, I saw the track boundary laid out in the center of the decent sized wooden dance floor. Unlike the roller derby I had been accustomed to seeing, this match would be done on a flat track.

The absence of a banked track had the possibility of slowing the overall speed of the game. On the other hand it paved the way for Suicide Seating. This wonderful bit of news was provided to Noel and I by Dames bench coach Squirrel Ex Machina- thus ending the debate about where we were going to sit.

The first team on the floor was the aforementioned River Valley Rollergirls from the Warsau-Schoefield, Wisconsin area. They were dressed in orange tops and came equipped with such wonderful names as Coochie Carnage, Gun Metal Grace, team leader Hether Skelter and the Eradiskater.

Then came the Dames, who were led out by the Isiserettes, a completely kick ass drum and dancing group that had so much soul, phat beats and energy that they could probably power a high octane rave all by themselves.

The incredibly impressive full color program contained what we would be in for.

There would be two 30 minute periods separated by a half time.

Both teams would field five girls. Two of them would serve as Jammers, recognizable by the star on their helmet. These two would be the only ones who can score points. The first jammer to break through the pack is awarded the status of lead jammer- the most powerful woman on the floor because she has the option to call off a jam at any point she so chooses before the two minute jam is over. The jammers can only score points on the second lap around the pack. Points are acquired when these jammers pass a member of the opposing team.

From my vantage point in the Suicide Seats, it looked like the Jammers started about 15 to 20 feet behind what is called the pack. At the lead of the pack are two girls, one from each team, known as Pivots, recognizable by the stripe on their helmets. These Pivots control the pace of the pack.

Behind the pivots were the blockers, three from each team. These women serve offensive and defensive purposes simultaneously. Offensively they have to navigate their jammer though the pack. Defensively they have to block the opposing teams jammer from breaking through.

A brief demonstration was exhibited for the audience prior to start of the match. This was done half-assed by both teams and understandably so. Both teams were ready. I was ready. Ready for whatever.

Besides the chaos of the first jam, which threw me for a loop at the simultaneous action of it all, the first person Noel and I noticed was a jammer that called herself Stella Italiana. The announcer mentioned that she had a background in speed skating. This experience manifested itself almost immediately. This Stella Italiana does not skate- she floats. Time after time throughout the course of the evening her navigation through the pack left  Noel and I slack jawed At times she seemed to almost turn herself into a liquid substance to escape the waiting arms and bodies of the River Valley blockers only to emerge on the other side of the pack.

The second thing we noticed was the ease at which the Dames were racking up points and the difficulty that River Valley was having acquiring their own. Not only that, we noticed that many of the Rollergirls were being sent to the penalty box. Once there was as many as four. Throughout the night, especially in the early stages of the match, there were sights of upraised arms begging the officials for an explanation and one particular exasperated "What the fuck did I do?!" coming from Road Block of the Rollergirls.

Later at the after party we found out why. It had nothing to do with the quality of the players on the Rollergirls squad. They were simply out of their league- literally. The ladies explained to us after the game that they are what is called a "renegade" team. Renegade appears to be a form of Roller Derby that is far more physically aggressive and far less structured by rules than the World Flat Track Derby Association game that the Dames play under.

The physical nature of the match was made manifest almost immediately. On the first jam, Rollergirls leaderHether Skelter appeared to have bent her right pointer finger all to hell. Coochie Carnage, one of the frequent visitors to the penalty box was seen moving her jaw back and forth in obvious pain, trying as hard as she was to mask it.  She stayed in the game.

As the game progressed the Rollergirls obviously began to feel more at home in the WFTDA format. points from jammers, such as the tenacious Sammi Tsunami, were becoming more frequent but by that time the Dames were far out of reach. Final Score 223-88.


Note: As I write this, it is 11:20 at night. There is more that I would like to say, but wouldn't do justice to those words and these women if I continued tonight. I'll try to wrap it up tomorrow. Sorry about that.