An Interview with Hether Skelter of the Wisconsin River Valley Rollergirls

When the Wisconsin River Valley Rollergirls All-Star team visited the Des Moines Derby Dames on April 10, D3 came away with a resounding 223-88 win. Under normal circumstances, this would be a demoralizing defeat. But further examination reveals that the circumstances leading up to the April 10th bout were anything but normal. Just before the D3 bout, the team suffered a major blow with a mass defection of skaters. Despite this, Wisconsin River Valley's founder Hether Skelter and the rest of her team persevered and played in Des Moines under circumstances that could have led to the disintegration of a lesser unit.

This weekend, the Des Moines Derby Dames will make the long trip to Warsau to play Wisconsin River Valley in a rematch of the April 10th bout. IRDD talked with Hether Skelter about what her squad has been up to over the last couple of months.

Q: It will be a little under two months since the bout against D3 in Des Moines when you take the Oval with them on Saturday. What has been going on with the team since then?

When WI RVRG played D3 on April 10th, there were a lot of new skaters thrown into the game due to some unfortunate league drama; resulting in several of our more experienced skaters choosing to violate our Charter and Operational Agreement, by among other things, bailing on us a week before the bout. Though none that left had ever actually bouted, I HAD introduced them to derby and spent months training, conditioning and preparing them. Having received my own introduction to roller derby and first three seasons of experience skating with The Arizona Derby Dames ( a long established and very successful non-WFTDA League, founded, in part, by veteran former members of pre-WFTDA. I found it necessary to take a 'crash course' in familiarization with the WFTDA standardized rule set in order to accept and rise to the challenge of two
such bouts in our debut season; as up to that point, since August '09, we had been very busy training and gearing up for our April 2nd interleague debut played by our own "house" or renegade rules. Come April 10th, the newer skaters had to wing it, learning the rules as they went.

Since then, the Wis. RVRG has played a WFTDA rule set mixer where the ladies met and played alongside many great, seasoned skaters and learned a lot! Our girls barely received any penalties and rocked the mixer, gaining a whole new level of respect for our league.


Q: Any more WFTDA BOUTS? 

WI RVRG played the Statelne Derby Divas mixer 'Military Madness' on May 22nd in Beloit, WI and we have a WFTDA rule set bout vs. The Eastern Iowa Outlaw Roller Derby League scheduled October 9th, \in Dubuque. We are working on booking a full schedule of both Renegade style and WFTDA rule set bouts throughout our 2011 season.

Q: New members? 

WI RVRG has gained about 5-6 new members since April, who are all very skilled skaters with positive attitides and strong, genuine individual characters.

Q: Team Chemistry?

Afore mentioned drama having successfully eliminated alot of negativity, our team and league chemistry is better now than ever! Everyone is working together extremely well, and we've been planning and putting into motion a lot of civic involvement activities in our effort to give back to our communities. The vast majority of our skaters are now fully trained, and legitimized RVRG's, having actively participated in and successfully completed our minimum 24 practice 'Fresh Meat' Training and evaluation period.

Q: In your opinion has the team gotten better?

Of course the league, and it's respective individual teams have improved immensely. Growing in skill and ability, as well as in the fundamental understanding of rules, regulations and strategems relevant to the (WFTDA ) game. We have all been training really hard, as well as building our Friendships off the track, which wasn't quite as practical when sudden, rapid growth brought previous membership to just under 50 skaters, and ultimately precipitated difficulties in both communication and coordination.

Q: Team injuries? 

There have been no major injuries, just your typical derby bumps and bruises. One injury in our League history, a spiral fractured pinky finger, incurred in our debut bout on April 2nd. She's all healed up now and really excited to play again!

Q: I’ve noticed some talk on line about the Renegade vs. WFTDA style and it seems like there are some misconceptions about the differences. How are they different? 

Simply stated, to us, Renegade Derby is that which isn't bound by the WFTDA prototype.We pride ourselves on our willingness and ability to play anyone, anytime, on any surface and by any rules- or none at all! Myself having participated with The AZDD in an '08 bout in which we defeated the highly renowned and much feared Arizona Renegade Rollergirls and playing by their ( the challengers ) one and only regulatory tenet of 'Do unto others' we literally fought for every point! I've also bouted on the Banked track with AZDD's Wrecking Crew vs. Oklahoma's Red Dirt Rebellion Rollergirls. It was in my freedom to explore the various elements of modern Roller Derby that I truly fell in love with the sport and it's Culture. Unlike the highly regulated and 'set in stone' nature of the WFTDA standardized rule set, our ultimate aim is to allow change and progressive evolution to continue the sport's development through selection and use of what we believe to be the best and most entertaining elements from all the various manifestations of the sport.

As for specific regulatory differences between our own (WI) RVRG Bout specific rules and those of the WFTDA standardized; some include fighting. We train our Ladies to safely initiate and /or defend in a fight situation, and understand that emotions can sometimes run high. Furthermore, we see sanctioned aggressiveness to have been much of that which made old school Derby a household name in previous decades. Some Leagues and styles sell sex, we sell violence and a more punk rock DIY ethic... Some pick apart opponents over minor penalty infractions, we strive to out-skate, out-maneuver and out-heart our competition.

Of course, in our Rules there are still regulations regarding fighting and all other aspects of play, and you still get penalties. In our game 3 minor penalties make a major. Our Major ( Non Fight participation ) penalties last the entire two minute duration of the subsequent jam. We do jumps, take downs and fancy whips, and REAL fights happen, sometimes even in the penalty box! We have Track Security refs to break up the fights and to ensure the safety of both Skaters and spectators.

Our penalties are imposed at the beginning of each subsequent jam, with none entering or exiting the track once the jam is started .There is no point of no return, no skating around the outside of the track to get to the box etc. If the Lead Jammer is going to call off the jam in our game, they have to be on their feet and in bounds! Our major penalties for fight participation require 5 minutes in the box. ( The equivalent of two full jams, with the two 30 second formation allowance times. )

Q: How are they the same? 

The game is still Roller Derby. We skate fast and turn left! All the rules are similar with regard to positions, engagement, formation, timing and scoring. We require the same safety equipment,(mouth guards optional). We utilize quad roller skates, of course, and our official track dimensions are the same. We have 30 seconds between jams, whistles and on skates Official's directional and communicative gestures match and only Team Captain or designated official representative can communicate directly / dispute with the refs.

Q: What do you believe are the keys to victory for your team on Saturday?

The keys to victory are definitely knowing the rules, avoiding the commission and /or receipt of the myriad minor penalties that resulted in at least two of our blockers occupying the box throughout most of our previous Bout vs. D3 and hitting hard to stop them from scoring!


Q: Who do you expect to have a big night?

Every member of our league wants some! We have all been training really hard for this bout! Des Moines will also enjoy Rock Star treatment, before and after the bout, as we believe in honoring the duties incumbent upon any Host!

Q: What are the areas your team is strong in? 

We are a very well rounded team, with super fast, agile Jammers and very effective hard hitting blockers.

Q: Where do you think the team needs improvement? 

More bouts will give them more experience and make them even more badass skaters! This is our first season and already our skaters do more on the oval than some very seasoned roller girls that I've encountered.

Back To the Derby Conclusion.

I would be remiss if I did not talk about the blockers- those at the center of the action.

As I sit here at type this, upon reflecting on what I saw Saturday, it seems these women have the most complex job on the team. Certainly it can be the most frustrating and excruciating. If you are a blocker you are on skates, and while you may be experienced at skating, part of the back of your mind is working to make sure you keep balance and pace with the pivots. Not only that you have to worry about your counterparts on the other side. You have to be mindful of where they are and be prepared to act on them in split second. You have to have your body in a state of expectancy that you will be blindsided or unexpectedly shoved by the oppositions blockers.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly you have to keep in mind where your jammers are in relation to where you in the pack are. So when Minnie Mayhem, Cosmo Disco or Stella Italiana from the Dames and Sammi Tsunami and Hether Skelter from the Rollergirls come barreling toward you with the determined fury of a muscle car on the Autobahn you have to develop a split second strategies to deal with all of this madness.

But let us not sympathize too much with the blockers. They are also in the best position to knock someone on their ass. I remember a feature on Sports Center about the rise of roller derby (which I will post on here later) which included an interview with a girl with the moniker Honey Homicide. Honey said these famous words without a hint of cheekiness: "I hear people say 'well I don't want to hit somebody else.' Why not? You're totally missing out."

A final note on all of this. All the roles, pivots, jammers and blockers, are interchangeable. There was a sequence where Road Block, from the Rollergirls served as a jammer and Stella Italiana of the dames also served in role of blocker.

Regulars in the blocker pack for the Dames included Toxic Moss, M.O.A.B and Meggar Bomb and many others I am fogetting

Truly it was one of the best Saturday nights. This incarnation of Roller Derby was everything that I hoped for as a long time fan. From the first jam to the last, it had all of the warmness of catching up with an old friend. Yet during the match my mind could not escape the thought of the specialness of it all.

To me, the Des Moines Derby Dames, and the Wisconsin River Valley Rollergirls were a confirmation of everything that is noble, decent and honest in sports. You see, the weekend that Noel and I saw this match was day three of the Masters Golf Tournament. We all know about Tiger Woods' infidelities and while I try not to get caught up in expecting piousness from our athletes, I could not help but feel let down as a lifelong Tiger fan. It wasn't the same. It was also the first full weekend of Major League Baseball- a sport that has been tarnished by steroid allegations and multi-million dollar mercenaries that seem distant and aloof from its fans, even though I do still love it.

All of us who are fans of athletics are looking for something to love and believe in again. We desire the purity and competitiveness of the game that we see in our parks and rec softball diamonds and basketball courts. The Dames-Rollergirls bout provided that, but it gave us so much more.

Any who has played a game dreamed of becoming a legend. We dreamed of being heroes. We wanted to hit the game winning home run or sink the game winning basket. We wanted to be admired by friend and total stranger alike. We wanted to make the stadiums rock. We wanted to be heroes.

As I was watching these two teams skate.; observing the Dames joy at the close of their match, looking at the children of the Dames who were mothers smile and glow upon the conclusion of the match with the realization that their mom not only kicks ass figuratively, but literally; and listening to the applause and cheers and cheers of the audience during the match itself display pleasure at a successful or intense play got me thinking.

These women have not only resurrected a sport that I loved but thought was all but dead, they have turned themselves in the legends that most of us only dream about being. The names and persona may be exaggerated, but the event and the feeling were true. They dreamed. But more than that, they did something about it. And they did it with nothing more than a pure love for the game. No strings attached.

I sat there in the audience, which was cornucopia of average good midwesterners, handsome men and beautiful women out for a good time on a Saturday night, punks and regulars Children and families. I felt that we were witnessing more than a match. We were watching dreams in action. We were watching these regular women making themselves into legends. We were witness to pure sport and athleticism.

If you believe nothing else of what I have written you must do this: before the summer is ended you must go to a roller derby bout and see for yourself. There is nothing like a Roller Derby bout. Don't try to find a substitute either in one of those sports-entertainment derby leagues, either. Leave the buffoonery to the buffoons. Go to the real thing and go fast before it explodes.

And if you go, you will probably see me. I will be going back to Des Moines and am planning on making pit stops in Cedar Rapids, Iowa City and the Quad Cities. 

And if you went on Saturday to the bout at the Val-Air or if you saw a bout in Wausau, Wisconsin, tip your caps to these women and be proud. They walk in the rarified air that most of us only dream of. . They are not sport entertainers like the Derby players of old.

They are athletes of the first degree.

They are legends.

They are heroines.

Back to the Derby Part Two

Noel and I made I-35 from Highway 20 (which we hit coming out of Waterloo) in 50 minutes. Since this usually took me over an hour to make, and with about 1 hour and 20 minutes to cover about 60 miles, I began to get giddy. We were going to make the match on time.

The combination of that knowledge and the emergence of the evening sun out of the rainclouds that blanketed the north turned my attention to the bout itself.

What would it be like? A friend of mine who attended the Cedar Rapids Roller Girls bout told me that it was, in his words, kind of lame but added that a) he didn't have the greatest of seats and b) the beer was a bit pricey. I suppose the combination of those two things could make a lame night out of anything.

Still the question lingered, would it be lame?

In my previous post I mentioned that the incarnation of Roller Derby that the Dames play is different from previous editions. While the kitsch is in the names and the outfits, the actual competition is real. These women would be taking the floor without any idea of what was going to happen- for good or for ill. The ill showed up in the Dames' inaugural match as Dames founder, Show Stopper, was seriously injured in the bout against the Old Capital City Roller Girls of Iowa City. I cannot remember which foot was injured but it looked pretty serious.

Since the action was real, would it be timid, especially in light of such a serious injury?

Our high speed sprint down I-35 placed us in the parking lot of the Val-Air at 7:10 p.m. What Noel and I saw there surprised us. The parking lot was full. People were tailgating. Both of us agreed that this was cool. We also agreed we had to haul ass to get inside the building out of legitimate fear that it sold out. Fortunately, we got tickets.

Stepping inside, I saw the track boundary laid out in the center of the decent sized wooden dance floor. Unlike the roller derby I had been accustomed to seeing, this match would be done on a flat track.

The absence of a banked track had the possibility of slowing the overall speed of the game. On the other hand it paved the way for Suicide Seating. This wonderful bit of news was provided to Noel and I by Dames bench coach Squirrel Ex Machina- thus ending the debate about where we were going to sit.

The first team on the floor was the aforementioned River Valley Rollergirls from the Warsau-Schoefield, Wisconsin area. They were dressed in orange tops and came equipped with such wonderful names as Coochie Carnage, Gun Metal Grace, team leader Hether Skelter and the Eradiskater.

Then came the Dames, who were led out by the Isiserettes, a completely kick ass drum and dancing group that had so much soul, phat beats and energy that they could probably power a high octane rave all by themselves.

The incredibly impressive full color program contained what we would be in for.

There would be two 30 minute periods separated by a half time.

Both teams would field five girls. Two of them would serve as Jammers, recognizable by the star on their helmet. These two would be the only ones who can score points. The first jammer to break through the pack is awarded the status of lead jammer- the most powerful woman on the floor because she has the option to call off a jam at any point she so chooses before the two minute jam is over. The jammers can only score points on the second lap around the pack. Points are acquired when these jammers pass a member of the opposing team.

From my vantage point in the Suicide Seats, it looked like the Jammers started about 15 to 20 feet behind what is called the pack. At the lead of the pack are two girls, one from each team, known as Pivots, recognizable by the stripe on their helmets. These Pivots control the pace of the pack.

Behind the pivots were the blockers, three from each team. These women serve offensive and defensive purposes simultaneously. Offensively they have to navigate their jammer though the pack. Defensively they have to block the opposing teams jammer from breaking through.

A brief demonstration was exhibited for the audience prior to start of the match. This was done half-assed by both teams and understandably so. Both teams were ready. I was ready. Ready for whatever.

Besides the chaos of the first jam, which threw me for a loop at the simultaneous action of it all, the first person Noel and I noticed was a jammer that called herself Stella Italiana. The announcer mentioned that she had a background in speed skating. This experience manifested itself almost immediately. This Stella Italiana does not skate- she floats. Time after time throughout the course of the evening her navigation through the pack left  Noel and I slack jawed At times she seemed to almost turn herself into a liquid substance to escape the waiting arms and bodies of the River Valley blockers only to emerge on the other side of the pack.

The second thing we noticed was the ease at which the Dames were racking up points and the difficulty that River Valley was having acquiring their own. Not only that, we noticed that many of the Rollergirls were being sent to the penalty box. Once there was as many as four. Throughout the night, especially in the early stages of the match, there were sights of upraised arms begging the officials for an explanation and one particular exasperated "What the fuck did I do?!" coming from Road Block of the Rollergirls.

Later at the after party we found out why. It had nothing to do with the quality of the players on the Rollergirls squad. They were simply out of their league- literally. The ladies explained to us after the game that they are what is called a "renegade" team. Renegade appears to be a form of Roller Derby that is far more physically aggressive and far less structured by rules than the World Flat Track Derby Association game that the Dames play under.

The physical nature of the match was made manifest almost immediately. On the first jam, Rollergirls leaderHether Skelter appeared to have bent her right pointer finger all to hell. Coochie Carnage, one of the frequent visitors to the penalty box was seen moving her jaw back and forth in obvious pain, trying as hard as she was to mask it.  She stayed in the game.

As the game progressed the Rollergirls obviously began to feel more at home in the WFTDA format. points from jammers, such as the tenacious Sammi Tsunami, were becoming more frequent but by that time the Dames were far out of reach. Final Score 223-88.


Note: As I write this, it is 11:20 at night. There is more that I would like to say, but wouldn't do justice to those words and these women if I continued tonight. I'll try to wrap it up tomorrow. Sorry about that.