SCENE REPORT: Roller Dames vs. Derby Dames: The Shequel by Skinnerella

IRDD's Woman in Sioux City, Skinnerella, files this scene report on the Des Moines Derby Dames vs. Sioux City Roller Dames, Saturday night. She is the author of this piece.

Saturday night, Long Lines Family Recreation Center, two teams entered, one team left…then the other team left, too;  I mean, we’ve all got families and carpools and stuff. But, on the track, we were totally ruthless. Well, within reason.

After coming back for a narrow victory in our October bout against D3 in Des Moines, the Roller Dames were pumped for another highly competitive bout. D3 jumped out to an early lead, with Stella Italiana scoring 7 unanswered points in the first jam and Cosmo Disco scoring 13 in the second. Then someone told PBR we were behind, so she put up 10 unanswered points while Stella Italiana was in the penalty box, bringing the score to and even 29-29.

Roller Dames kept a narrow lead for the next few jams, then Dubbs, in against Stella, got lead jammer and was all set to widen the lead when she got sent to the penalty box (oh noooooo!). Stella scored 20 points in the jam, bringing the score to 50-34. Both teams defenses kept the scores low for the rest of the half, but D3 maintained a 20ish-point lead until the buzzer sounded.

Soooo, after the tournament, we had decided that we were no longer a second-half team. Really. But, honestly, would Rocky IV have been a good movie if Sly Stallone had knocked Drago out in the third round? Of course not!

WeLiveInSodHouses played a short set during halftime and they were so good, I went out the next day and bought a tamborine and a tub of mustache wax!

Funsize started the second half in the box, luckily, Dames’ Great Wall of Heiney kept Stella scoreless. The Roller Dames crept back and were soon within 7 points of the lead, then this happened: D3 jammers were in the box for 5 out of 6 consecutive jams. On one occasion, Stella was sent to the box, saving Mo Payne from serving out a 2-minute stint. This was a game-changer, which allowed the Dames to rack up 3 grand slams and, over the course of these 6 jams, outscore D3 34-6. In the next to last jam, Mo Payne put up 3 grand slams of her own, driving the last nails into D3′s coffin.  The final score was 126-149, Roller Dames.

Big thanks to the Derby Dames, their refs, crew and fans for coming out to play with us, and also for reminding us that if you can’t say something nice, you should probably just give them the finger. (-;