Scene Report: MIR Vs. Sioux City- The Garden of Derby Delights Part Two

Noel and I were contemplating strategy at halftime- something we have never really done before since there hasn't really been any need given that the previous two bouts we visited were out of reach at halftime. We talk about players. Who is impressive, who isn't. But this was different. We gave our prognosis for the second half. Both of us agreed that Funsize was going to have to figure out another way to deal with the formidable MIR offense given that they seemed to have figured her out. Secondly, Sioux City's defense, was going to have to solve cTAL faTAL and Lolli. Any team can solve one problem at a time. Its different when there are two problems and it is further compounded when those two problems are different in style.

70-42. Was it over?

The two things that needed to happen for Sioux City to remain in the game, happened. Sioux City sent Funsize out to the line and she proceeded to elude the MIR defense just as she had in the first half picking up points. cTAL faTAL was held scoreless in the next jam by the Sioux City blockers.

It was not over.

The Sioux City blockers, with the exception of the closing sequences of the first half, was a formidable outfit. Often times during the game the blockers in the pack confronted, smashed and swirled around each other with the intensity of a hurricane. Sum Mo Payne, PBR, The Annihilatrix and other key Sioux City blockers were in an all out war with Eastside, the Pleasant Hill PunisHER, Vyolent GriMm and DISTURB YA of MIR. The result was a flurry of collisions, bumps, aggressiveness, passion and fouls.

The game settled into a pattern for the first 15-plus minutes of the second. Sioux City would creep a little closer in one jam. MIR would stretch the lead in another jam. And so on....

But with 12:37 to go in the bout Sioux City caught a huge break. The end of the jam was a bit chaotic and so it was sort of difficult to make out what happened. Here is what I recall, and if I am wrong I encourage anyone to correct me. cTAL went off the track after a collision and signaled for the jam to be called, as is her right as lead jammer. One of the referees signaled that she committed a major prior to calling off the jam and thus she would be required to serve a one minute penalty. cTAL gave an impassioned defense to the ref, but, alas, no dice.

Sioux City's Krystallica was the only jammer on the floor at that point and she proceeded to inflict maximum damage on MIR. When it was over, 94-91, MIR.

A certain electrical charge began rippling through the air at Hy-Vee Hall. The yelling got a little louder. The hits a little more physical. And while I was sitting away from Sioux City Bench, I could see one of the MIR coaches, Big Truck, begin to pace nervously and intensely on the sidelines. "TWINS!!! TWINS!!!" He shouted with the intensity of someone who was not only feeding strategy to his team but who was trying to will it to happen. I did not see him chew his fingernails. This is a good thing because the aura of intensity and nervousness he gave off told me that if he did, he would be missing arms by the time the bout ended.

Yes. It was that tight. Tensions were tightening with every jam. Sioux City's Krystallica racked up a five point jam to pull the Roller Dames within two, 103-101, MIR. Lolli responded with a five point jam of her own in the very next sequence, 108-101.

MIR widened the lead to 116-104 with 5:24 remaining when Sioux City's Krystallica delivered a four point jam, followed by another four point jam by PBR. While that was going on, the Roller Dames held MIR to zero points. 116-112. 3:04 to go.

Whenever cTAL faTAL stepped to the jammer line I heard a girl, probably around elementary school age cheer and plead "Come on cTAL!" It was very touching to me. The love that little kids have in their heroes and heroines is a pure faith that every sports fan envies and wish they could have back. We believed our athletes could do anything and always did it with nobility and righteousness. This was before we found out about things like free agency and million dollar contracts (for better or for worse) and steroids and tabloid scandals (always for the worst), which complicate fanhood. Yet this girl seemed to put her faith in far a better place. You are far more likely to see cTAL, or Bat R. Up (Old Capital City) or Rockabelle (Cedar Rapids) walking down the street than you are in a scandal sheet. And the derby girl does not do it because she will make millions or get into the upper echelon of society. She plays derby because she likes to play derby. With these things in mind, it will be much harder for the little girl who loves cTAL to become disillusioned with her as many of us other sports fans did with professional athletes.

cTAL was facing Funsize in the most pivotal jam of the night. When the whistle blew that started the jammers out both made a mad dash for the corner. cTAL was awarded, a loud roar and multiple camera flashes accompanying her entry into the back straightaway. Funsize was close behind. Entering the next turn on the oval, Funsize was suddenly taken out by MIR's Anna Killakova. This was not the first time these two had met on Saturday. MIR's Fanny Firestarter suffered an injury earlier in the match and Anna Killakova filled in on her jammer duties.  It was the 4'10" Funsize who had gotten the better of the over six foot tall Killakova for most of the night, knocking her to the ground on a number of occasions. This should not be viewed as a commentary on Anna Killakova's athleticism. It is simply a truth of athletics that once a person of Killakova's height decides to make a move on another athlete, it is far more difficult to change her path than someone of Funsize's height. Thus it is easier for Funsize to confound someone like Killakova.

But this time, no.

As I recall, Killakova threw her body into Funsize on the second turn of the oval and neutralized her for the jam. With that, cTAL faTAL took over and racked up a seven point jam. 123-112, MIR. 1:50 to go. Killakova's takeout of Funsize was perhaps the most pivotal play of the game in that it secured MIR's win and thus maintaining its undefeated season. By taking out Funsize,  Killakova eased the pressure on the remaining MIR jammers. They in turn, paved the way for cTAL to throw up a large number. If Funsize had stayed on her feet, it is no stretch to think she would have drawn the score closer, setting up teammate Krystallica, who was scoring at will in the second half to potentially take it over the top.

When they brag about the undefeated streak their team has thus far in the season, they would do well to remember and thank Anna Killakova.

As it was, Krystallica racked up four points on the next jam making the score 124-116. That is where it stood, as time ran out before the next jamming sequence could begin. A bit sad, really. After white knuckling it the last ten minutes, I would have personally preferred one final all out jam. But alas, one does not get always get what he wants, or however Mick Jagger put it.

Still I could not help but be satisfied. Satisfied by the many acts of athleticism and heroism that I saw, yes. But more than that, I was satisfied that an exciting derby bout could provide me with the same thrill and rush that any other exciting, close sport could. How I love that feeling. That wonderment seeing a jammer inexplicably do something sensational to breakaway from the pack. How a blocker can turn the pace and flow of a jam with merely one hit or one bump. The simple thrill of it all.

As I stepped out into the nightlife of a night in my hometown, I could not help but feel like the future looked bright for this incarnation of derby. The women have it right. This is not merely sports entertainment. This is sport itself.

MIR remains undefeated. Sioux City remains a team heading toward peak form.

Scene Report: MIR Vs. Sioux City- The Garden of Derby Delights Part One

DES MOINES -- The first two matches my friend Noel and I attended were slaughters, for lack of a better word. Yet I never consider a derby experience a waste. In fact our first two bouts have given us keener eyes to what is going on on the track since we could pay attention to pack dynamics, pivots and jammer moves rather than get swept up in the drama of a close game.

You might even say that the first two bouts prepared us for what happened on Saturday, when MIR successfully remained undefeated against the Sioux City Roller Dames....but not by much. With the previous two bouts giving us insight, we could now take in a close match and gain a fuller appreciation of what was going on.

Taking a fuller appreciation of things was easy to do on a day like Saturday. Nice sunshine. Low humidity. My good friend Noel. Derby. Traveling to my hometown. 

As many of you know, the Mid Iowa Rollers are the matriarchs of the Iowa Roller Derby Scene. They began their journey in 2006, and have left a very impressive wake behind them, with a scene that is approaching 10 teams.

But this might be their best year so far. They are undefeated on the season and, like other Derby teams in recent weeks, have begun to get more local media attention, not just in the features pages, but in the sports section of the nightly news, as witnessed in their coverage by WHO-TV last week when the station gave the result of their bout against Mahaska.

Sioux City is a team to be watched very closely. It was my understanding going into this bout that they had just picked up their first win of the year the week before (but I might be mistaken). This wouldn't be such a big deal if the team was anyone other than regional powerhouse #12 Omaha Rollergirls AAA. Combine that with this Saturday night performance and you are looking at team that is congealing very well, earlier setbacks be damned.

Saturday night was the fullest revelation of everything that Derby can be that I have seen in person so far. Like other sports, Roller Derby now has the capability to produce heroines in pressure situations. In particular, I am thinking of jammers cTAL faTAL and Mizz Lolli Pop Ya of the Mid Iowa Rollers and Krystallica and Funsize of Sioux City Roller Dames.

These jammers engaged in a titanic battle throughout the evening both with the opposition members of the pack and with each other. While there were many other athletes from both teams who served as Jammers, but these four stick out in my mind. It seemed like whatever their teams asked them to do, they did, or almost died trying.

Funsize, from the early stages of the match, was a revelation. Was she the fastest jammer I have ever seen? No. She wasn't even the fastest person in the oval on Saturday night. Yet that does not matter. Oh, don't get me wrong, she was quick, but the secret of her success in derby is her sheer courage and determination combined with agile reflexes. Although I do not know her exact height, Funsize used her appearance to her advantage. The mere sight of a short girl with no apparent muscle mass wearing the jammer star on her helmet closing in on the pack can whet the appetite of a blocker, visions of a crowd pleasing hit dancing in their heads. This vision occurred to more than one MIR blocker as the almost telegraphed said fantasy hit. Seemingly at the last minute Funsize would dart out of the way, leaving more than one MIR blocker on the floor. Not only was she a threat on the jamming side, Funsize's blocking abilities are choice, featuring an excellent sense of timing and an astounding whoomp to her hits. Perhaps the most dangerous women in flat track roller derby are the ones who are not of advanced height and look like they possess little to no athletic ability. I think Stella Italiana of the Des Moines Derby Dames, Gladi8her of Old Capital City and, yes, Funsize.

For MIR there was cTAL faTAL. She was the picture of absolute confidence during her jams. It wasn't arrogance, mind you. She just gave the impression that if her team called her to do something she could do it. It was a scene played out over an over throughout the night. cTAL on the jammer line. Ref blows whistle. She takes off like a rocket from the crypt. She reaches the pack. Bobbing. Weaving. Searching. Resisting hits. Fighting. Moving. She breaks through.Then she starts to skate like she's in a trance once she breaks free. Don't get me wrong, she still flying. But her aura becomes that of a machine. Stride. Stride. Stride. Corner. Freeze. Right arm extended slightly upward. The skates don't seem to move as she rounds the corner. Stride. Stride. Stride. She reaches the back of the pack. Back to full throttle. No concern for personal safety. Bob. Weave. Duck. Get hit. Hit back. Go. Go. Go. Through. Four points. She calls off the jam. Then it seems she lets her hair out in an excitable burst of emotion when the jam is done. Anger when it doesn't go right. Joy when it does.

And nothing too much.

Mizz Lolli Pop Ya was just as efficient. It seemed her style of skating was more rough hewn than cTAL faTAL, but there is obviously nothing wrong with this. Comparing jammer styles is pretty useless unless you are talking about who is getting through the pack and racking up the points and who isn't. It looked like Mizz Lolli Pop Ya was the fullback to cTAL faTAL's halfback if we dare use a football analogy. Lolli seems to prefer to head into the heart of the pack to grab her points. If this approach works, and it certainly was more successful than not most of the bout, it serves a dual purpose of scoring points and grinding the opposition blocks and wearing them down over the course of a match. To use another sports analogy, this one more appropriate given Lolli's background in basketball, her style of jamming is similar to that of a baller heading in to the paint for a layup.

The game was neck and neck for most of the first half with a few lead changes. But two major events happened toward the end of the period. Funsize, who was relatively unchecked by MIR defense for most of the half, began to get shut down. Heading this effort were MIR's Eastside and Pleasant Hill PunishHer in particular, who all but shut the door on Funsize by concentrating on closing off all possible routes she could take and making short, concentrated, yet walloping bumps and blocks rather than selling out for the big hit.

With this problem seemingly sewn up, the Rollers offense tonight under the leadership of cTAL faTAL and Lolli , built up the first sizable lead of the night, MIR 70, Sioux City 42, at halftime.

To be continued.....