The First of the Finest: Scene Report: MIR vs. CRRG: Helldorados Part One

There is nothing much I can write that has not already been said.

The Mid Iowa Rollers have finished their season unblemished at 8-0. Eight hours worth of time on the oval. Every test passed. Every situation handled. Every close bout (three of the last five bouts decided by less than 10 points) answered with seemingly a different heroine.

Saturday night at Veterans Memorial Auditorium in Des Moines, MIR cemented their place in the young history of the modern roller derby in Iowa with a 212-109 trouncing of the Cedar Rapids Rollergirls: Helldorados. They skated with a fierce zest and determination, as if they not only wanted to cap the perfect season off, but wanted it do it without leaving it to the fates that seemingly guided them to tight victories against Sioux City, Old Capitol City and  the first CRRG bout, wouldn't be needed.

It seems only fitting that the Mid Iowa Rollers did this in Veterans Memorial Auditorium. As any Iowan knows Vets used to be the ultimate goal of every high school wrestler and basketball player. For years, "The Barn" was the hall of champions. Things have changed since then. Now those events are held at nearby Wells Fargo Arena. But it was wonderful to see the old building be the site of the coronation of another legendary team.

Yes, I stand by the word "legendary." It is true, as indicated above, that the modern roller derby in the Hawkeye state has a brief history of about four years. But if it has staying power (and I believe it does) then what happened in Vets on Saturday is extremely important and will be written in the annals of the sport in this state. As I write this there are now 10 teams in Iowa and an unknown number of dreamers who might be putting plans in place to add to that total. Other teams will come. They may match the 8-0 record. They may win more in their undefeated seasons. But the 2010 Mid Iowa Rollers did it first.

They are the first of the finest.

And while the game did not take on the heart stopping nature that has been a popular trend for MIR in recent weeks, it provided a showcase as to what made this team so speicial and why they are the toast of the Iowa derby scene. First there was MIR offense lead by jammers Mizz LolliPopYa and cTAL faTAL. Much has been made of the formidable one-two punch they bring to the oval. Such attention is justified.

On the first jam of the match Mizz LolliPopYa notched 20 points, topped only by cTAL faTAL who strung up 30 in the third jam. We in the audience starred upwards at the Vets Auditorium scorboard in disbelief. MIR 50, CRRG 2 with 24:15 to go in the first half.

This is what most people would remember about these two jammers. But consider these things:

- Mizz LolliPopYa led all scorers in this bout with 73 points, serving as lead jammer in 9 of the 16 jams she served in.

- In her 65 point outing cTAL faTAL, who racked up a massive 30 points in the third jam of the game, had a 5.91 points-per-jam average. In other words she AVERAGED a grand slam every time she hit the oval.

- Both cTAL faTAL and MizzLolliPopYa scored 138 out of MIR's 212 points.

While offense was most assuredly served, we shouldn't forget the exploits of the Mid Iowa blockers. A 50-2 deficit is a formidable obstacle, especially at the beginning of a bout. But it can be overcome, especially with a team as talented as the Helldorados and their formidable jammer roster Rockabelle, G.!. Jean, Sin D. Whop Her and AJ Renegade.

But CRRG's jammers, no matter how high quality they are, need a good portion of time to chip away at the difference. Time was something that MIR's blockers did not give them. According to my notes, between 16:22 and 10:11 to go in the first half, the Rollers defense did not allow one CRRG point. Some may disagree with me for saying this, but I view that MIR defensive lockdown as just as crucial to the victory as the 50-2 deficit.

The work of Anna Killakova, Dangerous Daugharthy, Pleasant Hill PunisHer, Eastside, Huzzie Lecher, Sin D Rolla, Wonton Hammer and others jelled incredibly well together, Saturday night. It is true that CRRG looked understandably deflated after the early deficit. But in a sport where 20 and 30 point jams are possible, as MIR proved earlier in the evening, the defense could not take a holiday. MIR did not. It is true that most of the individual MIR blockers do not have a gravitational charisma that screams "look at me!" so it is easy to overlook them. They do not need charisma. They quietly go to the oval and go about their work. Whips here. Hits there. Shouts abound. The whole of MIR's blocking is much more than the sum of its parts. It is a given that any derby team or derby girl will say the cliche that "we win and lose as a team" but how often does that physically manifest itself in front of you? When an MIR blocker tells you they play as a team, its not a cliche. They emphatically mean it. Team defense and jamming assistance is their stock and trade.

Maybe they are Iowa Roller Derby's answer to the vaunted "No Name Defense" of the 1972 Miami Dolphins. The Dolphin defense did not receive as much attention as its potent offensive attack. Similarly we who watched MIR this year run the risk of crediting the jammers without mentioning the success of the blockers. Yet the defense of the Dolphins was considered the best in the league that year even though many were want to remember what their names were. So it might end up that way with MIR.

One more thing on that note: The 1972 Miami Dolphins finished 14-0 in the regular season and 3-0 in the postseason, including a victory in Super Bowl VII over Washington. MIR finished 8-0. And if you ask an MIR blocker what she would rather have- personal glory or a perfect season, I trust she will choose the latter every time.

To Be Continued (Apologies for the delay)