Scene Report: CRRG Helldorados vs. Mid Iowa Rollers: Attrition and Heroics Part One.

A sports fan will spend countless hours devoted to their favorite sport or their favorite club.

They will flock to the home teams establishment, watch the games at a watering hole and even make the occasional road trip. They will yell in individual moments of exaltation or anger. They will yell words of  encouragement or chastisement at the players, coaches, referees, fellow fans, opposing fans or any one in the general vicinity. They will chew the fingernails, pace, adjust the way they sit in a chair, pray, or any number of things to help their team along.

But many of these moment will be forgotten by fan after a match.

And then there are those moments that transcend the average viewing experience for the fan. Those moments that stand out among those countless hours of devotion. Those that will be long remembered, for good or for ill. Those that cause the fan to just shake their heads and go "THAT was something."

I have only been into the modern incarnation of Derby since April and I have had some of those moments already. But Saturday Night's bout between the Cedar Rapids Rollergirls: Helldorados and the Mid Iowa Rollers, won by MIR at the last jam 129-126, tops them all so far.

The daring. The aggressiveness. The risking of personal safety for the benefit of the team. The give and take. And finally the glory. The US Cellular Center was far from capacity. Yet I cannot help but think that a vast majority of the unconverted in attendance Saturday night came out converted or at the very least intrigued enough to take another ride. A friend of mine said that it may be the greatest and most important game in Iowa Roller Derby History thus far, which was quite a statement considering he has seen his share of bouts and doesn't dig hyperbole's at all. I see where he is coming from. I can picture people in mind running home or to their favorite local watering hole and regaling their friends with stories from the bout. "Man you will never believe what I just saw!"

I'm not sure you can use a word like "greatest" and apply it to a single bout. Every bout has its own dynamic, flow, intricacies and connotations. Sometimes all is revealed during a bout. Sometimes not. That's not to say my friend is wrong, just that we have a slightly different view of what went down.

One thing that all can agree on is the Helldorados-MIR bout was a physically punishing affair that tested the passion, patience, gamesmanship and endurance. Fortunately there were no injuries, but there was plenty of everything else. Hard hits, skaters becoming one with the suicide seating section, one ejection and complaints from some on both sides on the officiating. The slick floor caused much sloppy play as it wreaked havoc on the skaters in the early going of the bout.

Perfect? No. But lets free ourselves from the tyranny of perfection and focus on what made Saturday's bout so special.

The physical nature of the bout became apparent early as numerous players from both sides were knocked to the ground by both opposite and fellow teammates. The physicality of the match was set by the Helldorados, who seem to play a working class defense. Nothing subtle or fancy. They hit and they hit hard and then they move along to do the same thing to another blocker or jammer.

One Cedar Rapids Blocker that I have become a fan of is Krash Sanders. I first saw her at the May 8 bout that pitted the Old Capitol City Roller Girls against the CCRG Bombshell Cartel. By all accounts it was an Old Capitol City demolition 271-84. But toward the end of the game, those of us who were still around noticed the frequent bumps and collisions that Krash Sanders and Old Capitol City's Bat R. Up (For my money the hardest hitting and most formidable blocker in the state).The audience gradually took an interest in this bout within a bout. Krash would thump Bat R. Up. Bat R Up would respond in kind. On and on it went as we the audience became more engrossed. Krash Sanders finally did knock Bat R. Up down much to the amazement of the Coralville crowd. Bat R. Up knocked her down a few more times than that, but just Sanders' moxie in even starting a war at all with a blocker who puts the fear of God into other derby girls won my instant admiration.

Krash Sanders and the Helldorado blockers unleashed upon MIR, who came out of the gate with their tried and true econo-jamming strategy (get lead jammer status, get four points and call it off before the opposing jammer can do anything). The Helldorado pack collided and bumped the Rollers, who, at times, seemed to be caught off guard and, at other times, downright frustrated. This paved the way for the Helldorado jamming staff, including Rockabelle, Amelia No Heart and GI Jean to rack up points and engage in a see-saw affair with MIR. Midway through the first half, Roller defense could not solve the problems they presented.

Each Helldorado jammer had speed, yes, but, especially with Rockabelle and GI Jane, the secret to their success was the fact that they could withstand hits from opposing blockers and not only remain standing but still headed in the same direction they wanted to go. So much of what a jammer does reminds me of halfbacks and fullbacks in football. Like those on the gridiron, a jammers true worth is not shown in how many points she can acquire before getting hit, but seems to lie in how many points she can get after getting bumped.

The most memorable collision in the early going occurred when cTAL faTAL took a tumble into the suicide seats on the second turn of the oval in the middle of a jam. She immediately arose in an attempt to rejoin the pack, but was incapacitated by a brown purse that somehow got caught in one of her wheels. Immediately I recalled Deja Deadwards' Scene Report from MIR's bout with the Mahaska Mayhem last week, when Babyface Basher somehow wound up with the jammer panty stuck to one of the Mayhem's knee pad. A very strange and chaotic aura surrounds this team, I thought.

The game was blown open with 14:47 to go in the first when Amelia No Heart racked up a grand slam to put Cedar Rapids at a 32-22 advantage. It was a lead they would maintain for much of the first half thanks to the harsh and crushing Helldorado defense, including Krash Sanders, Toothy Hilt and Ali Assassinateher. Ali Assassinather made her presence known on the jamming side as well, racking up 15 points in a power jam to bring the score to 56-38 with 5:36 to go in the first half.

One of the key elements in the MIR blocking arsenal is DisturbYa, who from almost the beginning of the match to about 5:00 to go in the half, seemed to be running afoul of the referees. DisturbYa, who seems to be the agent provocateur of the Rollers, is always a pleasure to watch. She has a wild and menacing look in her eyes combined with a flare for showmanship. It is difficult to take your eyes off of her because, first of all, you wonder what she is going to do next, and, second, you can bet she will be where the action is.

At least that is the first impression you get from her. That is the one I got at the MIR-Sioux City bout in May. But in watching her Saturday night, I noticed she is in possession of some true and natural talent with the quads. During the Helldorados bout, she skated well ahead of the pack and executed some snowplow blocking techniques so sound they were textbook. Unfortunately, officials called a penalty on her for this on at least one occasion.  This combined with a series of other calls unleashed the fiery side of DisturbYa and resulted in her ejection from the bout with 4:19 to go in the first on charges of insubordination of the officials and accruing numerous penalties. Pity really. I got the feeling she had more weapons in her arsenal than the showmanship and the snowplow that I didn't get a chance to see. 

At this point, MIR's undefeated season looked to be in serious trouble. Enter cTAL faTAL and Mizz Lolli Pop Ya. With less than two minutes to go, cTAL faTAL racked up a 10 point jam to make the score 63-48, Helldorados. Mizz Lolli Pop Ya had the final MIR jam of the half and she too racked up 10 points to cut the lead to 63-58.

A look at the score, both at halftime and at the games conclusion, may lead an outside observer to think that it was a largely offensive ordeal and that somehow blockers from both teams did not play adequate defense. But I am starting to believe that in the realm of the Derby, terms like offense and defense do not have the same concrete meaning as they do in other sports. In derby, the blockers role can change from offense to defense and back again in split second time. And the blocking girls in the pack have to be prepared for this.

The tendency in sports is to concentrate on exalted positions, such as the quarterback or the jammer to the absence of everyone else. Yet as Jammers I talk to readily testify, they are nothing without their blockers. We can talk about the astounding exploits of Mizz Lolli Pop Ya and Amelia No Heart all we want, but it is the blockers in the center of the storm that is the pack that make what they do possible. What kind of  contribution can Rockabelle or Fanny Firestarter make for their teams if they are down on the floor because they did not have a blocker like A Few Screws Lucy or Pleasant Hill PunisHER clearing the way for them? May it never be that we lift up the Jammers to a high pedestal without lifting the women of the pack, who fight, grind, sweat, bump and block to make the point scoring and defensive maneuvers possible- and at the same time nonetheless.

Derby girls and fans of the game, have you hugged your blocker today? If not, at the very least, you can raise your cup to Eastside, Krash Sanders, Anna Killakova, A Few Screws Lucy, PBR, Bat R. Up, MOAB, and all of the other blockers grinding it out to give their jammers a fighting chance.

Here's to you, ladies.

To Be Continued...